Elizabethkuhnke's Blog

Be Selfish

Posted on: January 13, 2011

In order to treat others well, you must first treat yourself well. While being good to yourself may seem like a selfish mind-set , if you don’t look after yourself, you’re in no state to look after anyone else.

The way you treat yourself is the foundation on which you build your life. Treat yourself how you wish to be treated– with kindness, tolerance and respect. Care for yourself and watch the quality of your life improve.  Only when you’re cared for are you able to care for others. Airlines understand this principle:  during safety briefings the flight attendants instruct you to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others.  They know that  unless you take care of yourself you’re in no place to lend a hand to someone else.

Clues that you might not be giving yourself all the nurturing that you need include:

  • Your sleep is disturbed. 
  • You feel guilty about relaxing 
  • You crave  substances such as sugar, caffeine and nicotine
  • Your last priority is always yourself

If you want to look after others, look after yourself first. Below are some suggestions for renewing your zest for life. 

  • Identify what replenishes you and gives you pleasure. Write a list and commit to doing something from the list each day.  Whatever it is -reading a book, doing a crossword, listening to music or going for a walk – build time into your schedule to do something that replenishes you.
  • Top up your energy levels.  10 minutes of concentrated ‘you time’  is all that’s needed to help you relax and feel better about yourself.  Spend at least a small amount of time on your own each day away from the cares, needs and troubles of others.  Once you’ve had some quiet time to yourself, you’re more able to serve others
  • When feeling down, buy yourself a small and affordable present – some bubble bath, flowers or a book .  Whatever it is, make sure that it’s something that gives you pleasure..
  • Allow yourself to indulge in some of the things you enjoy – – wine, chocolate, TV soaps,  just not to excess.
  • Think of one simple way of treating your body with kindness each day and do it. For example , you could drink more water, get fresh air, or go to bed early.  You’ll be surprised at how much better you soon feel.
  • Always take a break from work.
  • Get outdoors and notice nature and your surroundings.
  • Make a list a number of reasons to be grateful and read them when you feel you need to.

Remember only by being good to yourself can you bring out the best in others.

For more information visit www.kuhnkecommunication.com

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2 Responses to "Be Selfish"

Why is we women find it so hard to be ‘selfish’? You are right though that only by taking care of yourself can you take care of others. It still doesn’t stop us being the only one in the house to keep going when the whole family is struck down with illness though does it!

Women are by nature nurturers. Nurturing our children includes teaching them to participate in their growth and development. Give children chores and tasks that they’re responsible for to further their education while making your life a little bit easier.

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