Elizabethkuhnke's Blog

Archive for August 2010

  • Act like a host

Treat everyone with respect and as if they were important. 

Get to the event early so you can greet people as they arrive. 

Make everyone feel welcome. 

Invite others into your conversation.

  • Ask for what you want

People aren’t mind readers.  If you don’t ask, you won’t get. 

Make requests, not demands. 

Aim for the long term relationship.

  • Listen with the intent of “how can I help?”

 If you want to be perceived as interesting, demonstrate interest.

Good things come to those who initiate.

  •  Give generously

Great networkers know that exchanging information, making new introductions, sharing contacts, giving referrals and promoting goodwill demonstrates sincerity and leads to new relationships, new opportunities and greater accomplishments.

  •  End conversations graciously

Introduce the person you’re speaking with to someone else.  Give plausible reasons for leaving the conversation.  Wanting to make contact with other people at the event is a perfectly acceptable reason for moving to another group.  Just don’t leave the other person standing by herself.

  • Follow through

Keep your word.  Foster relationships.  If you say you’re going to make contact, DO!

  • Have a clear goal for each networking event you attend

Do your homework.  Know who’s going to be there.  Ask yourself, “What do I want to achieve as a result of attending this event?”

In Summary… 

Be yourself at your best: open and ready to connect.


 Flash!  News Break!  Hold the front page! 


“What?!”  I  hear you say, “Is that it?  Tell me something I don’t already know!”

 I would if I could and the truth is I have yet to discover any new and exciting concepts when it comes to interpersonal communication.  In this arena it’s more like the tried, true and tested, with the possibility of a fresh approach.

However, what I have discovered is that we often forget to apply that which we know works. 

So, we’re going to review basic techniques for making a first impression that’s full of positive personal impact! 


!mpact Insights

People who are perceived as ‘warm’ are considered to be less threatening than those who come across as aloof or ‘cold.’  But what exactly does it mean to be ‘warm’?

A study was conducted to understand how body language sends ‘temperature’ messages.  Volunteers were videotaped as they participated in 5-minutes conversations.  Each participant was subsequently asked to assess the degree of warmth or coldness they thought they projected.  The researchers then showed a silent videotape of the interaction to a group of observers who were asked to evaluate the conversationalists in the same way.

The observers reported that smiling, nodding and showing physical attention indicated warmth. Coldness was perceived by body language that did not attend to others, a lack of smiling and extending their leg (while seated).

Interestingly, the volunteers being rated did not perceive these behaviours as indicating coldness in themselves.  They were unaware that this was the image they were projecting.

So, the message is, pay attention to your ‘temperature signals.’ We will be judged based on how we behave.  And, if people respond to you negatively you may find yourselves, as the researchers say, ‘unpleasantly mystified’!

 !mpact Ideas

If you want to make a positive impact when meeting people for the first time make sure you do the following:

  1. Smile!
  2. Adapt your behaviour to the situation
  3. Introduce yourself and include others in the conversation
  4. Actively invite people to join you
  5. Draw out others by demonstrating an interest in them
  6. Ask open ended questions pertinent to the person or event
  7. Open a conversation by being engaged in the moment
  8. Smile!

If you act on these ‘golden rules’ you will appear socially skilled, comfortable to be around and easy to engage…and you’ll make a ‘wow’ of a first impression!

For more insights and suggestions of how to make a positive first impression visit www.kuhnkecommunication.com

Crossed arms and hands on hips.  Lowered brows and loose lips.  A steady stare and a tight mouth.  Capello and Beckham have it out.

If you look at the body language of these two men, even the most insensitive observer would notice that England’s  furry faced iconic footballer and his black cladded Latin manager were in dispute.  “He’s a really nice gy,” Capello says of Beckham.  And boy, can’t you just tell he means what he’s saying by the way he’s saying it?

After last night’s slip of an announcement one wonders whether the England manager knew what he was doing.   Beckham no longer playing for England?  An era over?  Did Capello really not tell Beckham himself before making his pronouncement to the sporting press? 

  At 35 and with an assortment of injuries, the majority of fans would concur that it’s time for the legend to make way for younger, fitter players.  But, golly.  What a way to go.  A garbled message delivered in broken English with a  cacophany of hungry journalists braying for a story.  

What next for this sporting hero?  At 35 does he really need to be running down a field, kicking a ball into a net or bouncing it off his head, rattling his brain cells with each thump?  Perhaps he’s happier to let the youngsters do the rough stuff while he continues to leverage his brand.  

Every age has its grace. Let Beckham continue to achieve his goals off the pitch as a husband, father, and public figure.  Just allow him his dignity when you speak to the press.  Wouldn’t he do the same for you?

For more information check out www.kuhnkecommunication.com

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