Elizabethkuhnke's Blog

20 Secrets to Interpersonal Effectiveness

Posted on: November 30, 2010

Twenty Secrets of Interpersonal Effectiveness 

  1. Behave in a friendly way; smile.
  2. Make people feel important.  (To drive them away, make them feel worthless.)
  3. Share the credit; when people excel, acknowledge it.
  4. Be interested in people and disclose yourself to them.
  5. Remember people’s names.
  6. Remember the facts of people’s lives and ask about them occasionally.
  7. Do the right thing, even when it’s not convenient.
  8. Be honest and straightforward with everyone.  If you can’t commit, don’t.
  9. Give and receive feedback graciously.
  10.  Be a good listener.  Focus on the other’s concerns.
  11. Let people save face.
  12. If you’re wrong, admit it.
  13.  Be encouraging, involved and enthusiastic.
  14. Be there for people when they need you.

Behaviours to Avoid 

15. Negativity.  It’s disheartening to be constantly reminded of what’s wrong.
16. Gratuitous advice.  Resist telling people what they should and should not do.
17. Abrasiveness.
18. Foul language.
19. Overreactions to stress or bad news.  Panic is contagious and unproductive.
20. Making jokes at other people’s expense. 

Understanding Individual Differences

One crucial element of good interpersonal skills is being sensitive to, appreciating, and honouring differences among individuals.  Part of this skill lies in being aware of the various ways individuals can differ in how they perceive themselves and their roles and how they view the world, process information, and make decisions. 

The other part of the skill is being willing to accept those differences without evaluation and to adapt one’s own style and behaviour to accommodate the styles and behaviours of others.

Sensitivity to Differences

Being sensitive means being actively aware of different cultural traditions, expectations, assumptions, word meanings, gestures, formalities and customs.  These differences are sometimes apparent and sometimes not.  Even in nations with a common language, such as the U.S. and the U.K. words differ in meaning.

Honouring Differences

After becoming aware of the differences, it is important to honour them.  You honour them by assuming that their perspective is valid, by refusing to judge others by your cultural norms, by respecting their differences during interactions with them, by communicating your cultural expectations, and by developing a mutually respectful working relationship.

For more information visit www.kuhnkecommunication.com

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1 Response to "20 Secrets to Interpersonal Effectiveness"

So many secrets Elizabeth. Thank you. You call it interpersonal effectiveness and I call it schmoozing.
Regardless of the terminology follow Elizabeth’s success tips, you’ll love the difference!

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